This Morning and the Crazy Bus Driver

So the wife is off to Rockford for a day and I am home alone. It has been a very busy week, with the final revision to my globalization paper pending. I was hoping I was going to be done last week, but my instructor came back with some revisions. Last night I fixed up my Work Cited and today I am going to finish it all:). When the wife goes away she takes the car, and that means I have to hoof it. I am a die hard Dunkin Donut's fan and since there is not a single Dunkin Donut's around her, it means I have to take the bus. I could just have easily taken a bus to Clark Street, but that is the dirty Dunkin Donut's, so I decided to take the bus down to Ashland and then walk a mile down Lincoln Avenue to the good Dunkin Donut's.

I waited until it was somewhat light out and I made my way to the bus stop. The bus came along rather quickly and the entire bus trip would take only a few minutes. If I was a healthier man I would walk it but who cares. Now comes the Crazy Bus Driver story related to you the reader through our dialogue. Please let me tell you this conversation-three minutes in duration-came out of nowhere and I am really making it more PC then it really was. Gotta love the #77 Belmont at 6 a.m.

Me to the Bus Driver: Good Morning.

Bus Driver: Good Morning, afternoon and evening. I have been on this bus for the last 12 hours.

Me: Wow! Is your shift almost over?

Bus Driver: Oh yeah, and then I am going home to get me some.

Me(giggle): Great

Bus Driver: I've known this woman for 6 years and all she wants is for me to ****. (I am leaving this part out for the PC audience but it involves a sexual act that is not sex).

Me: really, for 6 years?

Bus Driver: 6 years I have been doing this, and now I am going to bang".

Me: well good for you.

Bus Driver: My only problem is the kids. She has four kids and I gotta watch out for them before I get me some.

Me: Sounds tricky.

Bus Driver: It is!! She has jet black hair that goes down her back. Oh yeah I love white woman.

Me: Ok (I stand and tell him I am getting off the bus at Ashland).

Bus Driver: Have a good morning man, hope you get some too.

Me: I just need a coffee.

Bus Driver: Well think of me getting some while you are drinking it.

I get off the bus.

I have no idea why the bus driver felt compelled to tell me this story but it seems it was monumental enoguh to share with a complete stranger. For your information I am drinking my Dunkin Donuts and trying really hard not to think about the bus driver getting some. This city is amazing.

The Red Line

For those who do not live in the city, riding the rails to and from work often brings some colorful situations. Case in point was the blind man who wandered onto my Red Line train today and was asking for change.

I have seen this guy on the train before, and although the CTA claims that solicitations on the train are prohibited, that is really an empty warning. Anything the CTA warns about is really just a suggestion.

The blind guy plays this game very well. He gets on the train at whatever stop ( This time is was Clark and Division) and quietly asks for change. His story is that he is blind (which is true if you see him) and that he is not a threat to anyone but wants to eat. Some people will give him change right away, and for some homeless people that is enough.

The blind guy is different. The blind guy will get his initial change and then will walk up and down the aisle, using his cane to hit people's feet. He will ask everyone for change openly and get louder as the train cruises down the track. By the time the train got to Belmont, the guy was screaming for change. SCREAMING. This annoyance was enough for him to pull down by my count, $5.00 extra dollars. If this guy can pull five dollars each train ride x 15 train rides, he is sitting with some good dough.