Obamaist 1.0

It is true that I am a Republican. For years I have lived a guerrilla lifestyle within the confines of my wife's family. Her family is democratic tried and true. They are altruistic, and liberal, and left. My wife's family believes in everything a good democrat would believe in.

Then comes me.

I am from the rural stretches of Illinois. Down in my neck of the woods, Democrat is a dirty word said with anger more than pride. We believe in guns, and amendments and rights. We believe that George W. Bush is misinterpreted and that Dick Cheney is a national hero. We hated Clinton and Gore and Kerry and believe that if this nation is gonna be safe than George Bush will make us safe.

Then comes Barack Obama.

It is funny. As I am typing this blog, the spell-check does not recognize his name. Something tells me in the near future, all blogs, and Microsoft Word etc will have to adapt to the funny named president. That's right men and gals, I think Obama is going to win.

Obama really is a great story... but I am not writing this to talk about his mother, or his father from Kenya, or his Harvard days. I want to talk about his election for senator in the state of Illinois. On January 20th, on the day of the inauguration-after the champagne is gone and the work needs to begin..Barack Obama needs to stand on that stage in the January cold and thank one person above all for his ascendancy.

God
Michelle

Nope, neither. The person Barack Obama needs to thank is Jeri Ryan... That's correct, Jeri Ryan-the blond beauty who so famously played a half borg in Deep Space Nine, and went to other jaunts as a scandalous character on the OC and as a teacher on Boston Public. Jeri Ryan is the reason that Barack Obama is going to be president. John McCain should cancel his annual trip to the Star Trek convention because it was her that set us on a course for greatness.

You see, Jeri Ryan was once married to an Illinois politician named Jack Ryan. Now Jack Ryan was a charmer, a good lookin' SOB who was destined to be a big name and a big contender for a top tier position. I really believed in Jack Ryan and worked in his campaign as a low level envelope stuffer. I got my mother to be his Iroquois County chairperson, and was excited of the prospects. His only downfall was his name, which if anyone knows, the last name RYAN is like having a raging aces of Herpes. Besides this, Jack was on his way...then came the scandal.

Now I am not too privy on the exact details of the scandal, but Jack once wanted his wife to have sex with him in a public place..call it a dirty nightclub( aren't they all), or an outdoor Sybaris. Either way, the scandal seemed to leave a bad taste in people's mouth. Now, I may not be a love doctor, but is it really a big deal if a man wants to have sex with his wife. I know the public aspect may be awkward, but most sex doctors say to spice it up once in a while. Maybe Jack was indeed from Mars and Jeri was from a Borg Cube. nevertheless, this was enough. The republicans in there desparate scramble decided to draft Alan Keyes to be the candidate. Alan fucking Keyes. It was all but handing the charismatic Obama the election.

I ended up voting for Obama in that election, and then went on to vote for him in this years primary. Sadly my republican brethren, I believe that "YES WE CAN". My only hope is that if Barack does make it up to the dais on that cold day, he will give a shout out to Jeri ryan, or at the very least us his mind to tap the borg collective and give her the props she deserves.

Costa Rica

The wife and I are off.....See ya in 10 Days

Hillary Oh No

Looks like Hillary took the lion's share. I have no idea why anyone wants to go back to all of that, and not move forward. I am not saying that Obama is the answer to all our prayers, however he is something different, and that's what we need. Going back to the same old situation is weak, ignorant, and overall what will eventually hurt our country. White Woman( Ages 40-65), Latinos, and Asians need to wake up-HILLARY IS NO DIFFERENT THAN GEORGE W BUSH.

My peace....

Ryan

What is it all about

I go to work everyday, work my hours, and come home for dinner, I spend time with my wife and my cats, go to sleep, and do it all over again. I am almost finished with school, have a great job, and can pay the bills. We take great trips( Costa Rica in a week) and have carved a nice little piece in the world....But what is it all about?

I found out today at work ( I will not mention my place of business because the corporation forbids talking about it) that one of my fellow employee's was murdered in a robbery at a Lane Bryant store in Tinley Park. Although I did not know her ( her father worked works with us and I know him), I somehow am deeply moved by this. She worked a few floors below me( we had the same elevator bank) and it makes me wonder if I ever shared a nicety with her, or said good morning. I have no idea what she looks like( besides her picture in the Tribune), but I know that I could have been a general proximity to her.

She was shot in the head, along with five other women, as they shopped. She was 22, a paralegal with my company, and had just graduated college last year. It has moved me to ask..Is this what it's all about?

I've done my time( so to speak), struggling through the early twenties, struggling to pay bills, and get through school, and keep a relationship intact. It's a hard life for some, but I think I have made it harder by being so pessimistic all the time. This girl may have had a hard life( who knows) but what is certain is that she worked hard, got through college, got a job, and on a cloudy morning decided to go and buy some work suits for the winter months. A man entered, tied her up, and executed her for no reason other than she was there. Is that what we have to look forward to? Are we predestined to suffer( some of us)? Is this what God has in store for us?

This world is not safe, and the more I get older, the more I realize that we are all susceptible to crime, and poverty, and terrorism, and heartache. What I am asking is, can anyone really know when it is there time when this world has nothing for us but hatred, and murderers roaming the streets. I know some of my friends live downstate, but the lines of smalltown and big city are pretty vague when it comes to animals who murder without remorse. I just hope we all TRY and be nice to one another, and remember the good times, and think about what we have over whaat we don't. Sorry if this was preachy, but like I said I have been pretty moved by this ordeal.

For Sara

Super Bowl

I am a Bears fan..tried and true..but tonight's Giant's win made me feel really good. I am so glad someone finally stuck it to Tom Brady, Randy Moss, and of course Bill Bellichik( or as I like to call him Bill Bellabitch). He has got to be the biggest baby in sports history.

Did He Half Ass It?

So let's get right down to the bread and butter...

It is my opinion, in his headstrong pursuit to stop the Sith from taking over the galaxy, that Obi Wan Kenobi fucked up.

I came to this conclusion after watching Revenge of the Sith and realizing that the reason the galaxy fell into darkness was not because the Emperor succeeded with his grand design, but because Obi Wan Kenobi was a horrible closer.

Let me set the scene..

After a close call on some planet, Obi Wan escapes, only to find out that the Jedi are being wiped out. He and Yoda, in a vain attempt to keep the story going, decide to head back to the city planet and stop some automatic messaging service telling the Jedi to come back home. Once there they realize that all the Jedi deaths, and the Jedi foolery was instigated by none other then Anakin Skywalker, or by his nom de plume Darth Vader. In a moment of calirty, little green Yoda decides that he will duel the Emperor and Obi Wan should find Vader and kill him. End scene.

Of course we all know how it goes, Vader and Obi Wan fight on the lava planet, they exchange semi-homosexual banter, and in the end Obi Wan severs Vader's legs. This is the moment where Obi Wan fails.

Here is my point...

If I was in his shoes, I would have shashayed down the incline to where Vader was wounded and burning up (lava started seeping up) and put my lightsaber square in his head. This would have prevented yet another Sith from roaming the galaxy, and the whole Rule of Two would have been stopped. Perhaps the Emperor would be weakened, giving Ypda another opportunity to face him. Who knows. My opinion, Obi Wan Kenobi is the reason the galaxy went to shit, and in the annuls of time, he should be the one who is judged for his crimes.

The Unified Theory Of Everything or MY 10 Commandments About Wilco

1. Follow the chord of Wilco-listen to some Uncle Tupelo and dive face first into A.M.

2. Realize that Summerteeth is the best album from 1999.

3. Download Jeff Tweedy and Jay Bennett live at XRT Studios 7/25/1999

4. Listen to every Wilco song on the Woody Guthrie compilation Mermaid Avenue, and exlcude all the Billy Bragg songs.

5. Realize that Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is one of the best albums of all time.

6. Listen to "Heavy Metal Drummer" and debate with friends whether Jay Bennett was an asshole for leaving the band over a 2 second drumbeat

7. Download the Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Demos and acknowledge it as a separate but equal masterpiece.

8. Digest "A Ghost Is Born" as experimental but fall in love with "Sky Blue Sky"

9. Associate "Impossible Germany" with your own road-trip through Deutschland.

10. See Wilco in concert, preferably in Chicago's Millenium Park on a cool September evening with Cassiopeia rising slowly above the skyscrapers.